Now that I’ve become a fulltime student again and spend most of my time sitting at a desk studying instead of running around keeping up with an assembly line like I used to, I’ve had to be more careful about snacking and what I eat. It’s easier to fall into the clutches of the freshman fifteen when you’re a fortysomething student. But to be honest, it started after the layoff as an “unemployment eight”. Or maybe as a “Thanksgiving three”
No matter when the Battle of the Belt Notch began I knew I’d gained too much weight when last month I was reluctant to wash my jeans because of how much they might shrink in the dryer.
And though I hate the feeling of carrying around extra pounds, what’s been more uncomfortable has been returning to a classroom and realizing I’ve accumulated some brain cellulite too. I’m getting good grades, but I’ve sprained some concentration and thought muscles these last eight weeks, especially the first two.
What frustrates me most is my slow reading speed nowadays. Words per minute-wise, I want to be the long distance runner I once was; but I’ve been stumbling over paragraphs and feeling more like a speedwalker at the mall. Some of it has to do with the courses I’m talking Although I’ve enjoyed my economics class discussions about current issues such as the mortgage crisis and the recession, my textbook is not exactly a hot page turner. (“Oh boy! Graphs and ATC curves! And what’s this about disequilibrium wages in a competitive market diminishing the marginal physical product!? I’m at the edge of my seat!”)
But even with subjects I do enjoy and want to learn more about such as computers and sustainability, I’m not reading as fast as I should. It’s frustrating because I have this two year opportunity to make up for ten years of financial and personal adversity. I need to rediscover my third and fourth reading gear.
How did I get to be more cere-belly than cerebellum?
Perhaps over the years I’ve fed my mind too many oversized portions of pop culture and message board media snark, and convinced myself it was more than a distraction. It’s sort of like saying, “I’m eating this because it’s nutritious. That’s why they call it gourmet ice cream.”
Was it challenging my mind to get into lengthy discussions about the psychological motivations of reality show contestants? Was I really debating when I took a pro-Julia Larrabee stance during the Jack amnesia storyline on As the World Turns? Honestly, what did I learn, other than to quit watching As the World Turns? All those television and movie critiques and dissecting fanboy rants? Maybe that’s why I’ve discovered my thought process sitting around in sweat pants.
I need to tone up my lobes.
And maybe do a few sit-ups.
