My Review of Hellboy 2 and Dark Knight; or How I spent $14.50 for five hours worth of air conditioning

I decided to beat the heat and catch a couple of matinees Thursday and Friday: Hellboy 2 and The Dark Knight.

First, Hellboy 2: The Golden Army, or as I’d call it Hellboy Potter and the Golden Army.  It’s a good movie, and gorgeous to watch; but if someone had paid as much attention to the script as del Toro did the art design and special effects, this would have turned out much better.   Although the sequel follows many of the same plot points as the original, it’s when the team enters the Troll Market–which is just a weirder Diagon Alley– that there’s a definate shift in tone.  

While the first one wasn’t the greatest, it had certain scary thrills.  It wanted us to worry about things that go bump in the night.  This one wants us to be in geeky-awe of the otherworld.  The original had Nazis bent on sacrificing the planet to an octopus-like demon god.  This has an elfin Magneto-type who believes that humankind is too greedy and worthless and must be anhililated.  He’s a cool villain with an intriguing philosophy, but after awhile the movie seems more interested in showing off his martial arts skills than exploring his motives or sense of justice.

In fact, the main problem with the story is that it avoids any opportunity to further examine the character relationships established in the first film.  That sense of family has been replaced with more of a sitcom-cast interaction.  Maybe that’s why Hellboy seems different.  Less the tough guy and more like a smart alleck and a bit of a goofball.   I did enjoy Selma Blair’s Liz more in this one; but aside for some literal fiery, explosions of temper, she isn’t given much to work with here.  It’s a shame because Blair seems more than ready to both kick ass and explore her complex relationship with Hellboy if given the chance–or some decent dialogue.  Better dialogue might have helped Abe’s storyline, but I didn’t feel any chemistry between him and the Fairy Princess–or “Elf-y McBeal” as I call her because of the resemblance to Callista Flockhart. 

And now Dark Knight. 

I liked it.  Didn’t love it.  Liked it.  This was the first superhero movie that seemed more like a graphic novel than a comic book.  However, despite Christopher’s Nolan’s intent to tell a mature story, I sometimes thought I was being forced to take part in an ethics experiment rather than allowed to enjoy an action movie. 

His Gotham City is an elaborate maze.  Even the parking garages and skyscrapers are filmed as labyrinthine environments.  It’s the ideal playing field for the Joker’s twisted game of murder and mayhem.   And yet not so much for fully realized fight or chase scenes.   In fact, the attack of the tooth fairies in the Hellboy movie was a better filmed action sequence than anything  in Dark Knight.

The true appeal and energy of Dark Knight is in its performances.

I wouldn’t praise Heath Ledger’s Joker as one of the greatest screen villains of all time.  Seriously, I question how many of these film critics grew up ever reading a quality Joker story. But Ledger’s performance is the most accurate portrayal of a comic book villain in a motion picture.  He captured the Joker’s insane genius for manipulation and menace.

But Aaron Eckhart’s performance as Harvey Dent/Two Face took a character from the comics that I always thought was a bit gimmicky and transformed him into a fully realized, tragic figure.

Christian Bale does a fine job as Bruce Wayne/Batman.  I just wish this film series displayed Batman’s brilliant mind and detective skills more.  He’s Gotham City’s protector, but he comes across more like Secret Agent Batman than the Dark Knight Detective.

 Maggie Gylennhall is really the only weak link in the cast.  She’s an improvement over Katie Holmes, but she looks so tired, and I didn’t buy her as Bruce Wayne or Harvey Dent’s love interest.  I could see them wanting to protect her as older brothers would a younger sister, but I don’t see a love connection.  She might have been a good  Harley Quinn though.

My Urban Garden 7-13-08: Yellow Spider Daylily

A Keepsake Ornament Premiere Saturday only a Disney fan could enjoy

This morning I drove to the Hallmark store and put seven ornaments on layaway.  It cost me $124.66.    And honestly, I wasn’t exactly wowed by my purchases or a lot of the selection for July, except for maybe Trimming the Tree. 

I considered putting Let It Shine back on the shelf.  While not as cute as I expected, I appreciated the imagination behind it, and there aren’t any tiny angels alongside candles in my ornament collection.  I also bought Sweet Little Soldier and Santa’s Sweet Ride, but was disappointed, especially in the latter.  Again I appreciated the imagination behind the concept, but the finished product just looked so plastic and smooth, especially the fake looking ice cream cone.

Not that I consider July’s selections a complete wash.  The best of my purchases so far this year is Tammy Haddix’s Trimming the Tree.  And it sold out fast.  Not just because it was the first in a series, but a lot of heart, imagination and attention to detail and color went into the ornament, and that’s what I expect from Hallmark.

While other studios have given the company a run for their money, Hallmark can still create some moments of inspired and unique magic.  I didn’t buy the Living on Baby Time alarm clock because I don’t have children, but my eye kept being drawn to it on the display stand.  It would look great on a tree.

I also don’t have any need for a teacher-themed ornament, but Katrina Bricker’s Teachers Rule looked even cuter on display than it did in the catalog.  And the Sweet Treat Elf which I received as a free gift was nice too.

Not many shoppers were filling up two carrying baskets like in years past.  Most people just had one and most weren’t full.  Maybe it’s the economy.  The people who were filling up two baskets were drawn to the Disney ornaments. 

Also this year my Hallmark store wasn’t offering a premiere day discount. At least I got the free gift ornament, as well as a ten dollar gift card.  I also received a complimentary decorative box with cardinals on the lid and runners on the bottom that gave it the appearance of, I dunno, a tiny holiday sled-box?  Nothing I’d ever buy, but it was free.  Although I’d still prefer some sort of discount.

I’ll probably return in October for Seasons Treatings and a look at the Sue Tague ornaments.  But that’s probably it as far as this year’s Hallmark ornaments go.

My Urban Garden 7-9-08: Oriental Lily

My Urban Garden 7-8-08: Bee and Russian sage

Just say “No” to ill-gotten goods and customer service.

This morning I was watering my front garden and someone who was walking by stopped and entered my walkway and said, “I just wanted to tell you, I’ve gone by here a lot and you have a great yard.”

“Thanks,” I said.  But out of habit, having lived in my neighborhood for many years, I anticipated a familiar shoe to drop.  And a moment later, sure enough….

“Hey, I just wanted to ask you somethin’,” he said, holding up a small black box, with an wire attachment that looked like it plugged into a car lighter socket. “I wanted to know if you’re interested in a good deal.”

In my neighborhood when someone stops to compliment me on my yard, 95% of the time it’s followed up by a request for spare change.  Fifty cents, or just a quarter.  Four percent of the time it’s someone offering to sell me their landscaping services–for fifty cents, or a couple dollars.  The rest of the time it’s a five finger discount salesman trying to interest me on a deal in electronics. It’s just something I’ve come to expect.  And considering what other wares and services are offered around my neighborhood it’s more of an inconvenience than cause for alarm.

Yes, people have sincerely complimented me on my garden, but it’s as they’re walking by.  It’s the panhandlers and sticky finger merchants who stop.

Anyway, I said no.

“I bet you don’t even know what this is,” he said. ”How can you say you don’t want it then?”

“Because if it was really something I needed, I’d already be looking for something like it, and I’d recognize what it is as something I needed to buy.” 

That either confused him or he just wasn’t leaving until I made some sort of random guess about what he was holding. “It looks like a charger of some sort,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.  And he started to walk away saying it was this something-or-other that you plug into a car lighter socket, see?

Whatever.

And then later I found a credit card by the barberry bushes.  I called the 800 number on the back to report it lost.  It just seemed like the right thing to do.  But after giving the name and card number, the customer service rep wanted me to give my name and phone number.  That sounded fishy.  When I refused she told me to cut the card up, which I of course I was going to do anyway.

Sometimes no good deed goes unquestioned.

Wall-E and Eve: The Owl and the Pussycat?

 

 

 

 

 

 

To me, Wall-E looks a bit like an owl and the shape of Eve’s eyes seem rather feline.  I’ve  wondered if the resemblance was intentional on Pixar’s part.  There is a moment early in the film where Wall-E can’t decide where to put the spork he’s returned home with, and a spork is a “runcible spoon” which is mentioned the poem. (“They dined on mince and slices of quince, which they ate with a runcible spoon.”)

However, “The Owl and the Pussycat” is also the title of a Barbra Streisand movie, and of course  the movie Wall-E loves to watch is “Hello Dolly” starring Barbra Streisand.  I didn’t catch any other Streisand references, so that could just be a coincidence.  If there was a reference to ”Yentl”, I didn’t notice it.

Cart-jacked at Wal-Mart

So I stop in at Wal-Mart this evening for a few items, and before I head to the express lane I stop to get  a bag of ice out of the freezer in front of the registers.  It seems more practical and efficient to get the ice beforehand where it can be scanned instantly instead of having to ask the busy checkout person to add the price of the ice to the purchase total and delay the line.  So I park my cart about twenty feet away from the machine.  I don’t want to give anyone the wrong impression that I’m trying to waltz out of the store without paying.  I reach in, get a small bag of ice and walk back to my cart.  But it’s gone. 

It took me only a few seconds to get the ice.  At first I thought someone had taken my cart by mistake and I looked around.  But then I noticed my cans of tuna, pint of Ben and Jerry’s and box of shower curtain rings had been put on the full shelf of a sales display.

And I’m left wondering who…

a.) …thinks I was abandoning my cart and leaving the store.  The ice machine is beside the exit, but watching me walk away from the cart it would be pretty clear I’m walking toward the ice machine a few feet away.

Or…

b.) …can’t walk about thirty feet themselves and get their own damn shopping cart by the entrance.  Was it the impulse thrill of cart larceny that overrode this person’s common sense?  Seriously, my cart was unattended for only a few seconds.

c.) ….they saw the few items I had and thought I didn’t need the cart as much as they did.  Oh no.  They were going to do some Wal-Mart consumer size shopping, baby.  In hindsight, I think it might’ve been a pair of women I noticed heading down the card aisle.  Maybe it was a situation where one of them realized soon after they’d entered that they’d need a second cart, and, golly, those extra feet to get a second one is such an arduous journey.  The store wasn’t crowded.  There was no shortage of carts, so it wasn’t like trying to find a brand new Prius.  There were plenty of carts available.

But I’m also wondering…

d.)…even if it’s possible that the cart-jacker thought I was exiting the store, what kind of person empties a cart and leaves a pint of ice cream on a shelf to melt and make a mess?

But then again, I’m not selfish, inconsiderate tool wad.